Hi, Sancho here. My human, Laurence, has been struggling with something to tell you about from this week and has asked me to step in.
I must say, I try to avoid these situations as I’m reluctant to show him up. However, as they say, “Needs must”.
Frankly, sometimes I just don’t ‘get’ my humans.
They can do what they want, when they want and how they want, without having to ask permission or have someone else decide how things should be.
Now take my situation. I’m lucky in this house (don’t get me started about the number of places they’ve dragged me to). Actually, now that I’ve mentioned it, that’s a very good issue to raise.
I’m part Lhasa Apso, which is a Tibetan Monastery dog. My ancestors were companions for monks in the mountains of Tibet. As a result of my heritage and DNA I’m a very Zen sort of chap.
HOWEVER, EVEN THE DALAI LAMA HAS HIS LIMITS!!
This propensity they have of dragging me all over the place is starting to wear a bit thin. Just as I get settled in and comfortable we move somewhere else.
Mind you, we have been in the one place now for a few months and that’s pretty good. The rumour is that we’ve got quite a few months left.
Recently, Laurence’s mother visited and I took her for a bit of a walk to show her the neighbourhood.
She was OK for a while, seemed to know her way around but then got a bit confused and I had to bring her home.
I grant you that as a human, being 88 years old does mean she’s getting on a bit, but then I’m 14 and in a relativistic universe that means I’m the equivalent of 91.
Also, these humans of mine can be a bit odd at times.
They can get quite miserable about things that really aren’t that important.
I mean, what’s all this stuff about paying bills and being at places at certain times, keeping appointments, getting ‘work’ done – I just don’t get it.
All they need to do is roll over on their back, look cute and wave their arms and legs in the air.
I do it regularly and it gets me just what I want, someone to throw my bear so I can get in some exercise, go for a walk or my most favourite activity of all – get fed.
I know they can do it – after all, I’ve given them enough training and encouragement but they really are quite slow on the uptake.
And these silly hours they keep. Sitting at a table all day in front of the computer. It’s just not healthy.
Look at me; sleep most of the time, run around a bit, regular diet (OK I wouldn’t mind it having a bit more variety and quantity but I do seem to keep my youthful physique), a good scratch and lick and all’s right with the world.
Talking about “youthful physique” – I have noticed that my hearing has been somewhat challenged of late, which is a bit of a worry because things (like my people) sneak up on me and I’ve been prone to getting a bit of a shock.
Storms used to be such fun – I’d have arguments with the Sky – it would flash a bit of light and make a loud statement and I’d bark back. Cowardly thing really, the Sky. Never did keep the discussion going – just as I was getting a good argument building it’d always give up and just go all soggy on me. I’ve been missing those conversations, of late.
I’m also finding I’ve been getting a bit short-tempered especially with younger dogs (still can’t quite get my head around these ‘cat’ things). Maybe all the moving around is finally getting to me but some of these youngsters really do need to learn some manners.
For example, one night recently we all went to visit a friend of mine – Molly. We’d stayed together for a while and she’s really a nice old stick (although she does need to come down a dress-size or two).
There was also some young stud visiting and he just wouldn’t leave me alone. It wouldn’t have been too bad but he just kept trying to hump me all the time.
I mean, what was he trying to achieve with that? If he’d done it to Molly I could understand – wouldn’t approve but I understand – but what was he after with me? Maybe this human Mardi Gras thing that’s coming up was getting to him.
Oh yes – I was saying this is a pretty good house we’re in at the moment. I don’t have to share with any other animals so I’m happy about that. And the back door is kept open when my humans are at home so I can go to the backyard whenever I’m inclined.
Although, I must say, I do miss the wide open spaces we’ve had in many of our homes.
Anyway, I’ve had a nice little rant here.
As an old bloke, it’s worn me out a bit so I think I’ll go and find a nice soft spot and have a bit of a snooze, after a good scratch.