I’ve often heard the term “The dark night of the soul” and have never really understood what it meant.
Eckhart Tolle describes it as the following:
“The dark night of the soul is a term that goes back a long time. … It is a term used to describe what one could call a collapse of a perceived meaning in life…an eruption into your life of a deep sense of meaninglessness. The inner state in some cases is very close to what is conventionally called depression. Nothing makes sense anymore, there’s no purpose to anything. Sometimes it’s triggered by some external event, some disaster perhaps, on an external level. The death of someone close to you could trigger it, especially premature death, for example if your child dies. Or you had built up your life, and given it meaning … and the meaning that you had given your life for some reason collapses. … Really what has collapsed then is the whole conceptual framework for your life, the meaning that your mind had given it. So that results in a dark place. But people have gone into that, and then there is the possibility that you emerge out of that into a transformed state of consciousness. Life has meaning again, but it’s no longer a conceptual meaning that you can necessarily explain. Quite often it’s from there that people awaken out of their conceptual sense of reality, which has collapsed.
They awaken into something deeper, which is no longer based on concepts in your mind. A deeper sense of purpose or connectedness with a greater life that is not dependent on explanations or anything conceptual any longer. It’s a kind of re-birth. The dark night of the soul is a kind of death that you die. What dies is the egoic sense of self. … Now it is probably the case that some people who’ve gone through this transformation realized that they had to go through that, in order to bring about a spiritual awakening. Often it is part of the awakening process, the death of the old self and the birth of the true self.”
Perhaps a number of people around me have been going through what Tolle refers to as; “an eruption into your life of a deep sense of meaninglessness“.
A client recently broke up with her partner.
I was surprised by this news – when I had looked at their astrology charts I was amazed at how deeply connected they seemed to be.
Their relationship was powerful and intense and she commented that she can’t be around him or she’ll get drawn back in.
That aligned with my impression based on their birth charts – there was clearly a deep and profound connection between them but it also showed up as having a significant karmic component.
She’s dealing with the grief which results from such an event.
Sir John Whitmore, one of the founding fathers of business coaching passed away in April and in a recent post Josie Thomson spoke of the grief she had experienced.
In her post, “Rising From The Falls Of Life” she wrote:
“Just in this past two weeks I have known tragedy and loss, fraud and disappointment, shame and isolation, depression and despair, aloneness and regret, pain and defeat, sadness and grief. In spite of and despite all this, I have also known kindness and generosity of spirit, compassion and humility, love and care, encouragement and hope.”
I have recently started working with a natural therapies practitioner (Sarah Anne Barker) whom I was drawn to with regard to issues with my vision and arthritis.
Not long after my first session with her I received an article she had written concerning her journey through grief and loss.
It’s called “How To Heal From Grief And Loss” and you can read it by clicking this link.
And finally, last week’s episode of Grantchester (our Sunday night TV viewing on the ABC) was particularly bleak with all the main characters having crises.
So there you have it – this week has been a journey into the void.
Both in my own life and those with whom I’ve been associated there has been this sense of meaninglessness and emptiness.
So how do you deal with this?
Three And A Half Ways To Exit The Void
1. Meditation
Josie has written a book called Enliven-U which is filled with inspirational messages.
Meditation features quite high in her approach to dealing with this state.
In a simple typo I often make: instead of writing meditation I write mediation.
Since I’m of the view that there is no such thing as co-incidence I can use that to explain that meditation is a form of mediation between your outer, egoistic self and your deeper, spiritual self.
It’s interesting how the shape of the letter which has been dropped/added is an ancient symbol for the relationship between the spiritual and material parts of ourselves.
(That symbol predates the religion which has used it for the last 2,000 years.)
OK – getting too deep and meaningful here – let’s return to our topic.
2. Various Natural Therapies
In her article Sarah Anne talks about the effect and benefits of using the following tools: Kinesiology, Craniosacral therapy, Reflexology and The Aura-Soma oils.
3. Astrology
Using your astrological birth chart and combined with progressions and transits gives an energetic map of what phases you are going through in your life.
I call this your Energetic Weather Map.
The lady mentioned above who recently separated from her partner has described this as giving her a timeline and guidance on how to deal with the things which have been coming up for her.
In her case we can see that this relationship has significant karmic aspects (mentioned above) which have taken her into places which have provided great insights and awareness about who she is, what drives and motivates her and how she deals with events and emotions in her life.
The Weather Map has indicated that this period she is now in will end around June 10th and so it has given her a sense that there is a light at the end of the tunnel (and it’s not an oncoming train).
4. Hugging
In her article “20 Amazing Benefits of Hugging According to Science (+10 Hugging Tips)” Jen Miller outlines the benefits derived by hugging.
You can read all twenty in her article but a couple of points are relevant here:
Hugging Increases Serotonin Levels and Hugs Can Help with Depression
Here she points out “Serotonin is known as the ‘feel good’ hormone because it helps to make us feel happy, relaxed and confident. It also acts as an appetite controller, and mood regulator.
Health issues such as depression and obesity have been linked to an imbalance in serotonin levels. Serotonin affects and controls mental and emotional processes, motor functions, hormones, blood pressure and motor functions.”
Remember Eckhart Tolle’s comment about depression.
In her point 11. Hugging Reduces Fear of Mortality, Jen outlines a study which showed that even a light touch can make a difference.
Jen also brings evidence that hugging improves self esteem, increases empathy and understanding, increases happiness and more.
All these are integral to lifting yourself out of the void.
4 and a half. Having someone to take care of
Following on from hugging, the experience of having someone in your life for whom you are responsible and care for is a great way to step out of the sense of meaninglessness and isolation associated with the “dark night of the soul”.
If they also care for you and are able to show that and share their concern for you (which probably leads to hugging) then that will speed up the process of coming back into the light and joy.
When you do something for someone else it uplifts you – I’m sure there’s scientific evidence for it but I haven’t followed that thought deeply just yet – something to Google.
So, as you can see there are a number of ways to come out of this state known as the dark night of the soul.
Depending on who you are and what you can relate to there are plenty of tools and techniques you can work with.
It’s just a matter of finding the one or ones which work for you.
The bottom line is remember the quote from Sir Winstom Churchill: “If you’re going through hell, keep going.”