Any business course you do these days will have at least one session where they talk about how to have to have a service mentality, you need to over-service your clients, “under propose and over deliver”.
While this is important (I’m not suggesting you shouldn’t look after your clients really, really well) for many of us we’ve taken that to mean we have to be available and “on” 24/7.
I was talking with a friend today who was bemoaning the fact that after coming home from the gym, in her hot, sweaty state and dressed accordingly in suitably sloppy clothes she took out the garbage. There she met one of her clients, who lived nearby, who wanted to stop and chat. My friend was devastated that her client should see her in this disheveled state.
At the 2012 She Business Fearless event, Amanda Gore spoke about the devastating effect adrenal overload had on her health and life.
I’ve lately become concerned about the number times I’ve received emails, SMSs or phone calls from people starting with an apology for not replying earlier. These messages have generally arrived within a day of me sending out the original and so for me they are replying very promptly. However, I’m getting the impression that people feel they always have to respond instantaneously.
Another instance is a client who recently had her adrenal gland removed. She had a tumor causing what she described as her symptoms: “the random heart palpitations, hand tremors, night sweats and frequent fatigue – in essence, my system was in a permanent state of ‘fight or flight.'”
Modern brain science tells us that when in this ‘fight or flight’ state, blood rushes from the prefrontal cortex to the amygdala which is part of the limbic or reptilian part of the brain.
The effect of this is that at the time we most need to be able to make rational, logical decisions, physiologically we’re unable to do so.
Being in this state for prolonged periods has all sorts of disastrous consequences.
For me this unhealthy state of affairs has come about because we’ve confused “being of service” with “being a servant”.
A servant is a person who is employed on a full time basis to be available whenever required. For this to work the employer must provide full board and accommodation as well as a suitable wage.
Back in the days when people really had servants (watch Upstairs Downstairs to get a sense of how it worked) you’d ring the bell and the servant would appear to handle whatever needed to be done.
Since modern technology makes us always available we’ve started to see ourselves as servants. However, we’ve lost the benefits and security associated with full tenure.
In order to regain our sanity and health we need to return to the mantra of the flight attendant. “When the oxygen mask drops down put yours on first BEFORE assisting others.” (Intriguingly, I recently read of a person who was on a flight which suddenly lost cabin pressure causing the oxygen masks to come down. The flight had a large number of Chinese tour groups on board. He was astounded to see a most of these passengers put the oxygen masks on their mobile phones. Go figure….)
We need to find ways to look after ourselves, to find ways of working which are helpful and beneficial for us as well as our clients.
For some that’s putting aside time for meditation. One of the things I do is keep Saturday as a sacred day ie no phones, no computers.
We’re all individual (except, of course, the Monty Python character who isn’t – see Life of Brian)and what works for one person may not work for you.
But, what we all share is the need for rest. Sleep is the most important form and there are many, many studies showing that as a society we’re pretty much all sleep deprived.
Again, our physiology tends to work against us. One of the symptoms of adrenal overload is; if you’re not asleep by 10pm you get a second wind enabling you to go for hours more. This however, is ultimately destructive.
Next is to set parameters around your response times. If you need to tell your clients that you’ll get back to them in a week’s time that’s often acceptable – provided you do. Most of us create unrealistic expectations within our clients’ minds. If we say “I’ll get back to you asap” they’re thinking that means “now” or close to. Generally, they don’t need what you’re providing that urgently but you’ve created the expectation.
People are generally understanding that things take time to achieve and by creating realistic expectations they’re happy provided the expectations are met. So, the important thing here is to create expectations which will WORK FOR YOU. If you then deliver earlier than you’d said you would that’s amazing customer service. If you delver on time (when you said it would be) that’s excellent customer service. If you don’t deliver within your specified time frame (without appropriately communicating about delays) that’s rubbish customer service.
So, get some sleep, enjoy yourself more and tell your clients when you can deliver in a way that works for you.
The other empowering thing you can do is fire clients you don’t like or, as one provider told me, you can charge a “client penalty”.
Remember the flight attendant’s mantra and keep in mind that if you’re no good for yourself how can you be of benefit to anyone else?